Confusing Love
by Innray
Summary: Told during Phantom Menace, from Obi-Wan's point of view. Sobiwan/Sabewan story
1. Love at First Sight

_Could Jar Jar be any more obvious? Seriously, he's been horrible at sneaking around since we got here! _I thought, seeing the Gungan's ear pass in front of me, in full view of all the droids. Luckily, they were just droids, or else we'd have been caught by now. Qui-Gon stopped, raised a finger to his lips to signal silence, and beckoned me forward. I went up to the edge of the banister and looked down. The Queen's retinue was following some battle droids to the edge of the hangar bay.

"When I say so, come down with me and we'll get them. Make sure that nothing hits the Queen or her retinue. Got it?" he asked.

"Yes, Master," I answered. Jar Jar nodded, but Qui-Gon still looked a bit unconvinced about him.

"Come on, then," said Qui-Gon, and he jumped off the banister, I looked at Jar Jar, who looked like he might be on the verge of a panic attack, and then followed him. We sliced through the battle droids with our lightsabers like a knife through butter. When we finished, I got my first look at the Queen. _She's pretty, _I thought, and involuntarily gave my lightsaber an extra twirl. Qui-Gon looked at me, and I cleared my head. _Jedi aren't allowed to love,_ I reminded myself. _Which is kind of stupid, if you ask me_. Qui-Gon was telling the assembled people something, but I wasn't listening. I was trying to hard to look everywhere but at the Queen.

"Obi-Wan?" asked Qui-Gon. From the look on his face, it wasn't the first time he'd asked me.

"Yes, Master?"

"Would you go and see if there is a ship nearby we could take to go to Coruscant?"

"Yes, Master."

I left, but the Queen stayed on my mind. _I shouldn't be thinking about her. She's completely off-limits, even if we were allowed to...get a grip, Obi-Wan! You're definitely not allowed to even be thinking about her other than how to get her from here to Coruscant! _ I mentally argued with myself the entire way around the hangar. I didn't see any ships, so I went back and told Qui-Gon.

"Well, the Queen says her ship isn't far. We'll use that one."

We went to the Queen's ship, and I mentally kicked myself for not noticing it. Actually, it was impossible not to notice it, since it was huge and bright, almost glowing, silver. We boarded the ship, but some battle droids saw us and started firing. I (whether to protect us or to impress the Queen) started deflecting the blaster bolts as the air lock on the door hissed shut in front of me. We took of into the depths of space.


	2. Stay and Talk with Me?

A few minutes into our journey, the hyperdrive broke down just as we were about to make the jump to hyperspace. Great. The Trade Federation fired at us as myself, Qui-Gon, and Captain Panaka ran to the hyperdrive. It was completely broken.

"We're not making it out of the Trade Federation lineup with that!" remarked Panaka. I went to one of the nearby maps and checked for a planet we could fix it on.

"Here's a nearby system on the Outer Rim," I told them. "Tatooine."

"We're not taking the Queen there! Its ruled by the Hutt lords!" protested Panaka. Qui-Gon gave him a look that I'd received often. It said: "I know that and let me think, okay?" Qui-Gon came to a decision.

"The Queen doesn't have to leave the ship. The generator can get us far enough so we can go to Tatooine, and some of us will find a generator there." Panaka reluctantly agreed, and we went to tell the Queen.

----------

"...And that's our plan. What do you think, Your Highness?" said Qui-Gon after he'd told the Queen the idea. She nodded, contemplating. I noticed that she looked at one of her handmaidens an _awful_ lot. _Must be a close friend or something_, I thought. My attentions were again drawn to the Queen. _Stop looking at her! Stop it, stop stop stop-_

Too late.

She'd seen me watching her, and gave me a little smile. "Alright. Follow through with your plan," she said. We turned to leave. "Master Jedi?" Qui-Gon and I turned back around. "May I speak with your Padawan for a moment?"

"Yes, milady," Qui-Gon said, and left. I turned to the Queen, nervous.

"You can sit down," she said, and gestured towards a chair nearby. I cautiously sat down. "Handmaidens, would you leave us?" The handmaidens left, bowing and scraping. The Queen sighed and looked at me.

"I've seen you looking at me when you thought no one was looking," she began. I think my heart actually stopped for a minute. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry, I was just...um..." I said, speechless. All the lessons Master Yoda had taught had never touched on what to do when a noble finds an embarrassing habit of ours. The Queen laughed, and I reddened.

"I said don't worry about it, remember? I was just going to ask you if you might sty on the ship with me when we get to Tatooine? There's nobody my age here to talk to, and the only ones I can talk to are my handmaidens. So, would you?"

"Yes, of course. I'll ask my Master now. Excuse me for a moment?" I said, rising and reaching for my comlink. Qui-Gon picked up his and I asked him. He approved.

"Then that settles it! Come and visit me sometime, okay?" she said, and I nodded. I left and had to control myself from shouting. _The Queen wants me-me! to stay and talk to her? YES!! _I was happy the rest of the voyage to Tatooine.


	3. Decoy Queen

After Qui-Gon left to Tatooine, I went to visit the Queen, but couldn't find her. She must be in a meeting with someone, I thought, and went to a quiet place I'd found on the ship to meditate. Unfortunately, I argued with myself instead. (this seems to be happening much more frequently).

_She doesn't know you're even alive, Obi-Wan!_

_If that's true, why'd she ask me to talk to her?_

_Because there's nobody else her age on the ship, stupid!_

_So? _

_So, then that's the only reason she wanted to talk to you!_

A slight tug on my ponytail brought me back to reality. I opened my eyes and saw one of the Queen's handmaidens in front of me.

"Hello," I said to her. She looked familiar, like I'd seen her somewhere. But she looked different then.

"I've been looking for you," she said. _That's where I had seen her before! She was the Queen!_

"Your Majesty, I-" She put a finger to my lips and groaned.

"Can we not tell Panaka about me not in a Queenly outfit? Its so uncomfortable. The headdress alone weighs a million pounds!" she complained. I laughed. For some reason, I couldn't see the Queen ever complaining about anything.

"You're... Obi-Wan, right?" she asked. I nodded. _She knows my name!_

"I'm sorry, I only know you as 'the Queen'," I apologized. "But if I'm not mistaken, your name is Padme Amidala?" She giggled and sat in front of me, imitating the way I sat, legs crossed.

"You've done your research, I see. Actually, my name is Sabe Forten. The _Queen's_ name is Padme."

"But, aren't you-" I began, but she sighed.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course." I immediately replied. She leaned closer to me.

"I'm not the Queen!" she whispered. I jumped up, shocked.

"Who are you, then? Are you an impostor? Or what?" I accused. She looked up at me from the floor.

"I figured you'd take it this way. Meet me here tomorrow, and I'll tell you the whole story," Sabe said. Seeing the look on my face, she continued. "Please, I'm not doing anything illegal! Just let me explain to you tomorrow!" I told her I'd be there tomorrow, and left.

---------------

In the men's sleeping quarters, I went to the washroom and bent over the sink. _How could she not be the Queen?_ I thought. _What explanation could she come up with that would make it legal to disguise yourself as nobility? And I didn't even get to meditate yet!_ After that realization, I went to my bunk and yanked off my boots and socks. Sitting there, with my bare feet on the cold floor, I found that cold makes meditation easier. That must be why Master Yoda kept it so cold and _frigid_ all the time in the meditation rooms. I sunk deep into my inner self to relax and forget everything Sabe had told me, except her name and hat I was going to meet her tomorrow. _She is still beautiful._


	4. First Kiss

I went back to the place Sabe had told me to meet her, but she wasn't there yet. Deciding to use the time as best I could, I sat cross-legged on the floor, like I'd been yesterday, and began to meditate. This time, I succeeded. When I came back to my senses, Sabe was kneeling in front of me, watching. I yelped and scooted backward, and crashed into an astromech that was behind me. _Nice going, Obi-Wan. Now she'll_ _definitely remember you,_ I reprimanded myself. Then I remembered why we were meeting here, and I sobered up and cleared my head. She was laughing very hard. I gave her a look and she controlled herself, but little giggles kept escaping her.

"You wanted to meet me here?" I asked, using my best Qui-Gon voice.

"Yes. Here's why I'm dressed as the Queen. Whenever a handmaiden gets hired that looks even remotely like the Queen, then they become the Queen's Decoy. They take the place of the Queen in times of trouble and danger so the Queen isn't in danger. See, so what I'm doing is not illegal. Its actually perfectly legal!" she explained. I could see the logic in that.

"I see." I bit my lip. I _so_ wanted to tell her why I'd been looking at her, but I was terrified that she'd scorn me. Ah well, I've been scorned before, and with that thought, my feelings burst out of me.

"Sabe, I've been looking at you because I think you are beautiful but Jedi and Padawans aren't allowed to form attachments and I've been thinking about you and I can't stop or anything, and I can't talk to Qui-Gon about it because he'd tell me that Jedi don't have attachment to others and I'm worried for the trials to become a Knight because they're coming up soon and...and...and..." I trailed off. I hadn't noticed that while I'd been speaking, my knees had curled up so they were under my chin. I gripped them with my hands and buried my face in them. . "Sorry, I didn't mean to put all this on you, it just slipped out."

Sabe looked at me and then crawled behind me, where she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. Nobody had ever done that, and it was odd at first. Then I didn't mind it much. We sat there like that for a while. Then, she came back in front of me and said, "If you ever need to tell anybody anything like that again, just let me know, okay? That's what friends are for. I'm sorry, but I have to go. They'll be wondering where the 'Queen' is." She got up to leave, but then turned back. "You're not that bad looking yourself, Master Jedi. I've been looking at you too. Good luck on the trials." She left. I sat on the floor for a few more minutes, thinking.

_She likes me! I feel like a thirteen year old boy. Probably because I have no_ _experience with women._ I felt a smile grow and spread on my face. I hurried after Sabe. When I caught up to her, I tapped her on the shoulder and said, "May I escort you back to your room?"

She smiled, and answered, "Yes, please do!" We walked side by side to her room. She told me about being a handmaiden and I told her about life at the Jedi Temple. We walked very slow and took the long way. I gently grazed the back of her hand with two of her fingers. She smiled shyly and held those two fingers. I readjusted so we were holding hands. We reached her room and I said good-bye. I turned to go and she called, "Obi-Wan?"

"Yes?" I turned back around.

"Thanks. Come here one minute?" she requested. I walked warily over to her. She looked nervous about something. Sabe stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. I blushed bright red, and she pulled away. I grinned down at her, and I kissed her again. _She is just as nervous as me! _ I realized. We broke apart, and I left. Then I noticed the time. How long were we walking for? I wondered. Qui-Gon should be paging in any time! I rushed back to the cockpit to wait for his transmission. It came about ten minutes later.

"Obi-Wan?" crackled Qui-Gon's voice over the comm.

"Yes Master?" I replied. I was barely able to hold in my excitement, but Qui-Gon would've lectured me about it.

"We'll be staying on Tatooine for another day. We'll be coming back with a generator." He quickly filled me in with all the details about a boy they'd found and the money the boy would win. Then he sent me a blood sample. "Test this, would you?"

"Yes Master." I put the blood sample into a computer and the midichlorian count was _way_ high. "Master, I'm doing a recheck. The count is much too high, its higher than Master Yoda's, even!" I rescanned the blood, and the results were the same. I gaped at them for a minute, then asked "Who _is_ this?"

"That, Padawan, is the blood of the boy I told you about. We're going to be bringing him back after we free him."

"But, Master-" Qui-Gon had cut communication. I fumed for a minute, then calmed down. I went back to my bunk and tried to sleep, but sleep didn't come. Hours later, I fell uneasily asleep. _Something's not right on this planet. I just know it._

The next day flew by much like the day before, but Captain Panaka seemed to be following Sabe or something, so we couldn't do much besides talk. I fell asleep that night thinking of her. She was so beautiful, it almost hurt.

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	5. The Boy

Sabe and I were strolling around in the ship holding hands when my comm started to buzz. I answered it.

"Qui-Gon?"

"Padawan, we'll be back in about a half hour. Make sure everyone is ready to leave. Tell the Queen we'll be leaving soon," he said before I could say anything else.

"I'll tell her right now." I turned to Sabe. "Make sure your ready to leave within an hour, okay?" She grinned.

"Alright, Master Jedi," she responded. I told Qui-Gon we'd be all ready, and he cut transmission. I sighed.

"What is it, Obi-Wan?" she asked.

"Its just... I don't know. My home planet was much more spacious and green than Coruscant is, and its just so crowded there. Unless I'm at the Jedi Temple, I feel... cramped on Coruscant."

"I can see that," she said, then giggled.

"What?" I asked.

"I came up with a nickname for you. Obi-Wan is a bit of a mouthful sometimes, don't you think?" she asked.

"I guess. I never really noticed, since its, you know, my name."

"Well. I'm going to call you 'Ben' from now on. Its just a shortened version of Obi-Wan anyway."

"Ben..." I tried the name out. "I like it!"

"Good. Anyway, I'd better go and get on all of my royal clothes." She wrinkled her nose. "The headdress is just so horrible... I've liked going around in normal handmaiden's clothes for these few days." She looked up at me. "I've also liked talking to you. Maybe when the Queen comes back, we'll see each other again?"

"Of course!" I assured her, and kissed her. Captain Panaka's voice from the hallway right around the corner came too soon, and she pulled away.

"Master Jedi!" I could hear Panaka calling. I groaned.

"Quick, go over there!" I quietly urged Sabe. "I'm over here, Captain!" I called, raising my voice. Footsteps echoed, coming nearer.

"Ah, there you are! Have you heard word from Qui-Gon about when they are returning?"

"Yes. He said to be ready within the hour, that they'll return soon."

"Thank you. Have you seen Sabe?" he inquired. I stifled a grin. I could sense her moving quickly to the Queen's room.

"Yes. She's near the Queen's room," I told him. He thanked me and hurried away. The ship around me suddenly exploded in activity. People were rushing about, all headed towards the Queen's room.

"I liked the quiet better," I muttered to myself as I went back to the men's quarters. I had decided to meditate until Qui-Gon returned.

---------------

"Welcome back, Master," I greeted Qui-Gon as he, the woman I knew now was really the Queen, Jar Jar, and an eopie dragging a hyperdrive returned. I bowed to Qui-Gon. I hate bowing.

"Hello, Padawan. Is the Queen all right?" he asked, distractedly.

"Yes, Master. She's getting ready for the trip."

"Good. I have to go back and take care of some...business. Get the hyperdrive installed. I'll be back soon," he said, and turned to go. I jumped over the hyperdrive and caught up to him.

"Why do we always pick up pathetic life-forms, like the one I know you're going to get right now?" I asked exasperatedly. Qui-Gon, being mysterious as always, said nothing, just clapped me on the shoulder and left. I was fuming. I wish I could talk to Sabe, but she's busy. I paced around the ship, waiting, until the pilot, Ric Olie, told me I was driving him insane with my incessant pacing.

"Sorry," I apologized. Just then, a sandy haired boy came racing into the cockpit.

"Qui-Gon said to take off and come get him!" announced the boy, his words coming in short breaths. I took off towards the entryway.

"Leave the entry ramp open!" I shouted at the men who were going to shut it. They did, and I leaned down to look for Qui-Gon. To my annoyance, the boy did the same.

"There he is!" I called loudly to Ric. He swerved the ship to a cloud of dust and sand that was moving. My hand instinctively moved towards my lightsaber, but then I drew it away. _He'll be fine,_ I assured myself. _He's a grown man, even though he doesn't act like it sometimes. _Qui-Gon jumped into the ship, and through the opening in the dust he left I could see a black cloaked person with a red lightsaber. Before I could even draw breath to talk, the boy was firing questions at Qui-Gon, who looked completely exhausted.

"Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi," was all Qui-Gon said. The boy held out his hand, and I shook it.

"Wow, you're a Jedi too! This is so _wizard_!" said the boy- _Anakin_, excitedly. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. I helped Qui-Gon up and the three of us went to the Queen's room, where Qui-Gon would tell Sabe about their journey. I figured Anakin might be bored, so I told him where our room was, but he insisted on going. _Whatever. Be bored to death. _I looked at Sabe, hoping to catch her eye, but it wasn't Sabe under all the makeup. It was the real Queen. I looked around as little as I could, hoping to not draw attention to myself. It didn't work. I felt a slight tug on the sleeve of my robe. I looked down, and Anakin was motioning he wanted to tell me something. I bent over.

"Who are you looking for?" he whispered. I turned my head to look at him. He wasn't much older than nine, with a slight dusting of freckles and sand on his face. He was completely serious.

"Nobody. Why?" I whispered back.

"I thought Jedi weren't allowed to have attachment. That's what Qui-Gon said," he answered, keeping his eye on somebody towards the back of the room. Whoever it was had the same color hair as Sabe. It _was_ Sabe! I looked back at Anakin, who must've noticed I had learned where he was looking. Anakin now had his eyes riveted on Qui-Gon as if he'd never heard anything more interesting than what he was saying.


	6. Nightmares

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon's voice startled me awake that night. I made an instinctive movement towards my lightsaber, but my Master's hand stopped me. I turned to look at him.

"Oh, its you!" I said stupidly. I was still half asleep. "What time is it?"

"Doesn't matter. We need to talk," said Qui-Gon sternly. I looked at him suspiciously. He only woke me up like this when we had a sudden mission or there was an emergency. "You were having problems sleeping again?" I cringed. "I heard you moving around." Lately I had been having problems with nightmares, tossing and turning and sometimes (embarrassingly enough) shouting. They were mostly things that wouldn't ever happen, like the Temple on fire, Qui-Gon dead, the Sith ruling the galaxy. But they seemed so _real_ and terrifying. I looked down at myself. I always slept with just my regular knee length Jedi pants and beltpack on, and my bare chest was dripping with sweat. I remember this dream now. This was the worst one.

_A man older than I was now, around thirty-six or so, was battling a younger man around age twenty-three. The older man was losing ground and looked absolutely exhausted. The younger, anger and pain in his eyes, was hitting him so fast with his lightsaber that the older one was struggling to block the blows. The older man turned to try to gain ground, and I could see his face. It was me. The older me quickly brought the battle to his advantage. They chased each other all around the lava planet they were on, and eventually Old Me overpowered the younger one. Old Me said something I couldn't hear, and left. (_Fast foward a long time)_ An even older man, who I immediately knew to be myself, was now fighting a very tall man wearing a black metal suit. The black-suited man seemed to be taunting the Older Me, and eventually, I died. _That's where I woke up, shouting. Again.

I told Qui-Gon all of this, and he sat on the edge of my bunk, thinking. From across the room, I could tell that Anakin was having some sleeping issues of his own. I could hear him rolling around and crying a little bit and making a strange snuffling noise. I'm not the only one with nightmares anymore. For the first, and probably not the last time, I felt some small connection with him.

"Talk to Master Yoda when we get to the Temple," Qui-Gon advised.

"I was already going to. But he isn't much of a help some times. He's all philosophical about everything," I whined. I knew I sounded like a child, but Qui-Gon had been ignoring me ever since he and Anakin came back on the ship. He'd been talking to Ric Olie, Anakin, and Captain Panaka. _ I'm his Padawan, he should be talking to me too! _Quickly, I corrected myself with Yoda's mantra drilled into all younglings: Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the Dark Side.

"Obi-Wan, I wanted to talk to you about your trials to become a Knight. They're coming up soon, right?" Qui-Gon said, interrupting my thinking.

"Yes, Master. But why now, at," I checked the time. "Three in the morning?"

Qui-Gon's face looked forbidding all of a sudden. "Fine. Padawan, we _will_ talk about them." He went back to his bunk, after casting a last look at me. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

---------------

The next morning, I had a message to deliver to the Queen, telling her that we would be arriving at Coruscant that day, and after I delivered, I stopped her.

"Your Majesty!"

"Yes, Master Jedi?"

"Is Sabe available?" I might have imagined it, but a knowing smile flashed across the Queen's face, just for a second.

"Yes, of course. One moment." She went into her rooms, and a minute later, Sabe came flying out. I caught her in a hug.

"Good morning," I greeted her, laughing. She kissed me, then noticed the Queen was still watching. We quickly pulled apart. We both blushed. The Queen, to my surprise, laughed.

"Make sure your Master doesn't catch you, Master Jedi!" she said wickedly. Then she turned and vanished into her rooms. I turned back to Sabe.

"Shall we walk, my lady?" I asked.

"But of course, kind sir." We walked along, enjoying each other's company.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked her. She looked up at me.

"I would hope so!"

"I think Qui-Gon would rather have Anakin as his Padawan than me. He woke me up last night and I think he wanted to tell me to take the trials right when we got back to the Temple, _just so_ I could become a Knight and he could take a new Padawan. If he wanted Anakin as his Padawan, why'd he pick me in the first place?" I knew I was being whiny again, but Jedi aren't really supposed to have feelings like that. They must be like stone about everything. And sometimes, the stone might break. Sabe just looked up at me. Then, to my surprise, she slid her hands under my robe and just hugged me as hard as she could. I stood there and then rested my head on hers and hugged her back.

This honestly cheered me up more than anything else.

"Mmif Qu-G want Pad..." she mumbled into my tunic. I laughed, then pulled her away a little bit.

"What?"

"If Qui-Gon wanted Anakin as his Padawan in the first place, then he would've picked him. Or held off and not gotten one. But he picked you, and he picked you because he liked you. Qui-Gon might have his own reasons for not picking you right away, Ben," she told me soothingly. I squeezed her until she squeaked, because I knew right at that moment that I loved her. I didn't know if she felt the same way or not. I was even more scared of being caught now.


	7. Force Connection

Coruscant.

One of the most populated planets in the galaxy, it is also my home.

The Jedi Temple is here. I hope that someday I will be able to show Sabe the Temple, but I'm not sure I'll be able to. I believe she'd like the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Right now, with her standing next to me as we fly over the Temple, I feel as though I could take on at least five Sith Lords. She told me she loved me, right before we entered the atmosphere.

"Obi-Wan, we'll be getting off here. Find Anakin, would you? I think he's in the cockpit," Qui-Gon's voice came quietly from my right. I nodded, and gave Sabe's hand a subtle squeeze before I went to find him. When I got to the cockpit, Anakin was standing next to the pilot, asking him questions about everything.

"Anakin, we're getting off at the Jedi Temple. We're almost there, follow me." He turned towards me, a huge grin lighting up his face.

"Okay, Obi-Wan!" I turned and left, and he trotted after me. Once we got out of earshot from the pilot, I stopped, knelt down, and took him by the shoulders. I looked straight into his eyes, and he squirmed. I knew the feeling. When I was a youngling and one of the Masters did this to me, to tell me something important, it felt like they could see right into my core.

"When we get to the Temple, do not wander off on your own. Its like a maze in there, and we're going straight to the center of it. Stick close to either me or Qui-Gon, alright?" I asked.

"Yes, sir," he said. "Sir?"

"What?"

"Will the tests be hard?"

"No, of course not. You'll be fine." I told him roughly. I got up to go, and he stopped me again.

"Not mine. The ones you'll have to take. I know you'll pass, but will they be hard?" I turned back around.

"Probably quite a bit harder than yours. Come on, Qui-Gon's waiting." I put a hand on his shoulder and guided him to Qui-Gon and through all of the halls until we got outside of the Council chamber. Qui-Gon took Anakin into the chamber and I waited outside. _How did he know that I would pass? Those tests are _hard_, testing a Padawan on everything he's learned since he was a youngling, and he knew I'd pass? What _is_ this kid?_

"Obi-Wan, come in, please," Qui-Gon's voice sounded from my comm. I pressed the button to open the door and it hissed open. I stepped inside the Council room, which never failed to awe me. The room was completely glass, except for the pillars that held it up. The most respected Jedi held their court here. All told, it could be quite an intimidating place. It was intimidating Anakin, I saw. I stood and listened as Qui-Gon told them of our journey, of the nonexistent negotiations, and how he found Anakin. Then I had to tell them what had happened on the ship while Qui-Gon wasn't there. As I told my story, I had to remember to call Sabe the Queen and leave out all the bits of Sabe that might sound like I had been breaking the rules (Which I had been). Anakin was dismissed and he went to stand outside.

"Yoda, what do you think should be done with the boy?" asked Master Windu. Everybody in the room turned to look at the small, green, wrinkly Jedi. He was very old too.

"Too old, he is. Trained, he cannot be," said Master Yoda. _This is it then. Yoda's word was law._

"Can he not be tested, at least?" questioned Qui-Gon. I had to restrain myslef from giving him a look that he gave me often. The look said: The matter is closed, why are you still questioning and protesting?

I'm ashamed to admit, I sort of spaced out during the discussion that followed. I wondered what Sabe was doing, if a youngling had invaded my room yet, and why my Master always has to go against the rules and the Council's decisions.

Quick thing, about the whole youngling-invading-my-room thing: Before we left to go to Naboo, I had been in the sparring room with Garen and I came into my room and there was a little boy in there, looking through my stuff. He stammered an apology and left. He was about four or five, I think.

I told Qui-Gon I was going to take Anakin to see Padme, since they'd become friends. He said it was all right, and we left. Anakin talked the whole way about what he was going to do once he became a Jedi and how he was going to see every single planet there was to see. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was too old to become a Jedi, so I listened to his never-ending tirade of words. Padme wasn't in when we got to her room (most likely pleading Her Majesty's case to the Senate), but Anakin and I were allowed to stay and talk with Ric, the pilot or the handmaidens. I made my way to stand next to Sabe in her handmaiden's robes.

"Is Her Majesty not here because of a Senate meeting that she had to attend?" I asked. I looked at Anakin, who was busy talking animatedly with Ric, and slid an arm around Sabe's waist. She smiled and leaned up against me. We were both watching Anakin tell Ric about his Padracer and everything he'd ever seen that could fly, when all of a sudden, I felt a little tickling in my Force connection. Over the tickling, I heard Sabe's voice, saying, _"I wish he and I could have one..." _I jumped, startled. Sabe looked up at me, and asked, "What is it?"

"Did you say something?" I asked quietly. She shook her head. The voice came again. _That's weird... _was what it said.

I realized what it was, and I nearly cried out. Sabe gave me a strange look. I quietly explained.

"When a person who is Force sensitive becomes very clse to one who isn't, sometimes a 'Force connection' happens. The Force sensitive one can occasionally here what the other is thinking. It happens more often when they are romantic. I've never heard it happening, though, just in accounts from historians."

"Well, better not read my thoughts _too_ often, Obi-Wan Kenobi," she lectured me in mock severity. "I may have some secrets to hide."

I smiled, and Anakin got up and yawned. He was ready to go, I could see. I told Sabe we had to leave, and we did. He was half asleep and walked excruciatingly slow the whole way back to the Temple. When we go there, Qui-Gon said we'd be leaving for Naboo again the next morning.

"Why?" I asked him after Anakin had curled up on a spare sleep couch in Qui-Gon's room.

"The Queen wants to personally oversee the expulsion of the Trade Federation, and as the Queens Protector's, we're to go as well. No arguing," he added as I opened my mouth. I glared at him, and then stomped off to my room.

_Acting like a kid again, Obi-Wan?_

_No, I just don't want to leave right when we got back._

_That's not true._

_Qui-Gon's going to be watching me even more closely, and I don't want to be replaced so easily as a Padawan!_

_He probably has his reasons..._

_Of course he does, he always does! But even if he does, it doesn't mean he can defy the Council again, leave me as a Knight with no help from my old Master, and risk everything for a boy we know hardly anything about!_

_You got along fine with him earlier._

_Doesn't mean I like him._

I hate mental arguments. They make my brain hurt.

_(((A/N: Reviews please!!! Do you like it?)))_


	8. Back on Naboo

The voyage back to Naboo was much easier going than the journey to Coruscant. For one thing, we didn't stop anywhere. For another, Padme had decided to be the actual Queen on the journey and resume being Padme the handmaiden when we arrived on Naboo. Since Padme was being Queen, I could see Sabe more often too. Qui-Gon was holed up in the sleeping quarters, doing who knows what for most of the journey. Anakin stayed in the cockpit, learning the controls for the plane. Once we had gotten into hyperspace, Ric allowed him to sit in the copilot's chair, which he was very excited about. I was taking a walk around the ship when I crashed head-on into Captain Panaka.

"Oh, sorry Captain. Didn't see you," I apologized as I helped him up. I hadn't fallen.

"It's okay, Master Jedi," he replied. He looked closer at me. I felt uncomfortable.

"Can I help you, Captain?"

"Actually yes, I've been looking for you. Walk with me." Without waiting for an answer, he took my shoulder and guided me into a secluded area, away from people.

"What is it?" I asked curiously. We hadn't spoken much outside of making plans and things, but I would say that he'd never been openly hostile. Apparently, something had changed.

"I've seen you and one of the handmaidens spending quite a bit of time together for the past week or so. I do not tolerate anybody, not even a Jedi, taking advantage of any of the handmaidens." He looked pointedly at Sabe, who had just rushed by, giving me a quick wave.

"Sabe?" I said incredulously. "We haven't done anything!"

"Yet."

"And we never will! We're just friends, anyway!" Above everything else, him believing this was most important. If the Captain told Qui-Gon about this....

"I will be keeping an eye on you, sir," he said, protectively. He turned and walked away. When I could no longer hear his boots on the floor, I sank down the wall until I was sitting. I felt a wetness in my eyes, and angrily I brushed it away. _You knew this would happen,_ I told myself. _No use getting angry over it._

---------------

We landed on Naboo a day later. Jar Jar went looking for the Gungan people so he could ask for help to defeat the droids. I slipped off for a swim. Swimming always relaxes me, and I was very tense. I had to apologize to Qui-Gon for acting immature again, and I could feel a disturbance in the Force on this planet. It was darker and even more elusive than the one that Anakin had caused. I reached a small pond and left my boots, tunic, cloak, and beltpack on the bank of the pond. I got my breather out of my beltpack and dove into the icy water. It felt good to swim again.

When I was done, I redressed and found the group again. Qui-Gon took one look at my wet hair and pants and just shook his head. I desperately wanted to make things right between us, but it was so hard to do with a Master that is practically a tree and about as open as one too. Even after twelve years as his apprentice, I still felt intimidated by him sometimes. Oh well. I drew him aside.

"Master, I am very sorry for my behavior. I thought you wanted to replace me with Anakin, but I'm sure there are reasons for everything. Please forgive me?" I apologized. He looked at me, then sighed and smiled.

"Obi-Wan, you are a wiser man than I will ever hope to be. I don't want to replace you, I just know you are almost ready for the trials. I foresee you being a great Knight someday." With that, he clapped me on the shoulder and returned to the group. Relief flooded through me. I hurried to catch up with everyone else and found a place near Sabe, in her Queen's gear.

---------------

So the Naboo are allied with the Gungans, and the plans are in place. I just have one more thing to take care of, and I will be ready to take on anything there was, even a Sith. Which I really hoped wouldn't happen, but if it did, I might be able to handle it. We got to Theed and everyone spread out, and Qui-Gon whispered, "If there is anybody you'd like to say farewell to, Padawan, do it now." He knew. How did he know? I hurried to Sabe, and inconspicuously pulled her away.

"Sabe, I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen soon. I don't know if we'll ever see each other again," I said. My voice caught. Why is this so hard?

"Ben, don't talk like this, please! I know we'll see each other again!" she said, always the optimist. Her voice wavered too.

"Just in case, I want you to know that I love you, and that even if something happens, I'll always be with you." With that, I kissed her harder than I ever had before. She was content, I could tell. Her tears tasted salty. I pressed her up to me, and she wrapped her arms around me. We stayed there for a while, then broke apart. She offered me a watery smile, and told me that she loved me too. We kissed again, not for nearly as long, and went to our separate groups. Qui-Gon gave me a knowing look. We fought our way through the halls of Theed palace, until we got to the main hangar. There, we met droidekas and the annoying skeletal droids. Anakin ran to hide somewhere, and then the door behind us hissed open ominously. We turned, and a Zabrak stood waiting.

"We'll take care of this." Qui-Gon told everyone. I was more nervous than I thought I would be, but tried to cover it up. Qui-Gon, the Zabrak, and I took our cloaks off and ignited our lightsabers. I noticed the Zabrak had horns and was tattooed red and black. He was the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen, except maybe Master Windu in the morning. I sent a frantic good-bye glance over my shoulder to Sabe, squared my shoulders, and the battle began.

(((A/N: We're getting to the exciting part!!! Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming!!!)))


	9. Master's Fall

_Relax, Obi-Wan. Remember to breathe, defend yourself more than attack, and keep Qui-Gon in your sight at all times. _I couldn't think anymore. I just moved as the Force told me to. Block, block, block, block, swing, dodge, block. Repeat.

This was the hardest battle I'd ever been in. Block, block, OUCH! The Zabrak kicked me in the chin and sent me reeling backwards. Qui-Gon Force-pushed me out of the way of the Zabrak's lightsaber. I recovered, and the battle began to move farther into the palace. We moved through a multilevel room, where we paused. Block, block, block, swing, jump backward, block, swing. The Sith (I'd decided that he was most definitely a Sith) kicked me n the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I fell back, missing a platform below the battle, and landing heavily on the one two below it. Unfortunately, I then continued to roll sideways off the platform. Hurriedly, I grabbed the edge of the platform and turned my lightsaber off. I swung up and landed on the platform, pausing to regain my breath. Then I jumped back onto the platform where Qui-Gon and the Sith were. They were too far ahead, and I ran to catch up. But before I could catch up, laser walls closed in front of me and them, five between me and the Zabrak, four between me and Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon sat and began to meditate. No, no no! Don't meditate, the walls are going to open! They did, and faster than I would've thought possible, he jumped up, reignited his lightsaber, and hit the Sith with blows that were extremely fast. I ran to try to catch up, but the walls shut before I could make it.

I felt detached as I watched the battle. Qui-Gon seemed to be doing my sequence that I'd been doing earlier, but I didn't feel right. _It should be me out there! Not him! Come on, walls, open already! _I watched as the Sith knocked Qui-Gon in the chin with his lightsaber handle, and while my Master was dazed, he reversed the lightsaber and drove it into Qui-Gon.

"NO! NO! No, no, no, NO! QUI-GON!" I could hear the voice screaming, but didn't realize that it was me. Tears ran down my face as I watched Qui-Gon crumple. The laser walls slid open, and I hit with fury at the Sith. He was surprised, but then began to revel, it seemed, in my grief. I managed to slice his lightsaber in half, so he only had one, but then he kicked me over the edge of the melting pit. I grabbed a nozzle that stuck out from the wall, and held on for my life. The Sith knocked my lightsaber over the edge, and I watched it fall. For one of the first times, I was scared. Suddenly, I heard Sabe's voice in the back of my mind. _You can do it, Obi-Wan! _ The Sith swiped his lightsaber along the edge, sending bits of burning metal down at me. I tucked my head into my arm, and when he finished, I used the Force to send Qui-Gon's lightsaber towards me, and I Force-jumped out of the pit. The lightsaber landed into my palm. I switched it on, and fought with ever increasing grief. Swing, swing, swing, swing, SLICE! The Sith tumbled down into the melting pit, his legs seperating from his torso. I shut my eyes, and then rushed to Qui-Gon. I lifted his head into my lap.

"Master?" I asked. My voice cracked and broke.

"Obi-Wan?"His voice was very faint. "Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master, I'm here," I told him. I was crying.

"Obi-Wan...promise me...promise me..." he had to pause to catch his breath. "Promise me...you'll train...the boy..." he stopped again. His face had gained a gray pallor.

"I promise," I said.

"He will...bring balance...train him!" He brought his fingers up to touch me. He was cold already.

"I will!" I swore. I knew I would. Then, a tremor ran through the Force. Qui-Gon was dead. "Master!" I bent over him, racking sobs shaking me. Memories flowed through my mind.

_Qui-Gon calling me Padawan for the first time...Qui-Gon showing me how to use the Force to bring an object to a different place. Qui-Gon dying. _ That was the scene I saw most. The lightsaber went into him again and again. I lifted my Master as best as I could to carry him out. I struggled through the laser walls, and when I got outside, I collapsed.

--------------

I woke sometime later on a sleep-couch. Dazed, I asked whoever was sitting next to me what happened.

"Collapsed, you did. Carried Qui-Gon a long way, you did. Droids are defeated, they are." Yoda's voice came from above me. Above? I opened my eyes all the way, and Yoda was standing next to me, his head an inch higher than mine. I fell back onto the couch, and went back to sleep.

------------

The funeral was the next night. I stood behind Anakin, with Sabe as the handmaiden next to me. I watched with tears in my eyes as my Master burned. Anakin turned around to look up at me.

"What will happen to me now?" he asked. He was almost as upset as I was.

"I'm going to train you as a Jedi." I told him. His eyes had a fire in them I recognized as determination. Sabe rested her head on my shoulder, and I put my hands on Anakin's shoulders. We watched the fire that was spreading over Qui-Gon.

The next day was the peace ceremony between the Gungan's and Naboo. Anakin was touching his Padawan braid and new short haircut a lot. He smiled up at me, and I smiled back. For the first time since before Qui-Gon's death, I was happy.


	10. Reunion and Deryll

After the funeral, Anakin and I left Naboo about three or four days later. All the days went by in a sort of blur, with Anakin's becoming my Padawan, the final details to the treaty between the Gungans and Naboo being sorted out, and Senator Palaptine's ascension to becoming Chancellor. After all that was finished and complete, I found myself in a position I'd been dreading. Which was having to bid farewell to Sabe. We stood under an outcropping of roof to say our good-byes. It was raining, and I held her close.

"Promise me you'll come back," she begged. I couldn't say no, and I hoped more than I should have that I would see her again, so I promised.

"Yes. Always. I promise," I told her. I felt like something here had been set in motion, something I couldn't quite figure out. "Whether I have to take on another Sith Lord or a ten Trade Blockades, I will come back!"

"I hope you won't have to." She leaned into me. "I wish you didn't have to go. I think something bad and terrible is going to happen! I'm just not sure _what_."

Having to finally leave was awful. We kissed, but I sensed someone was coming so we had to say good-bye hurriedly.

I looked back at her and Naboo until we went into hyperspace.

---------------

I didn't get to fulfill my promise until ten years later. Whenever I would try to get away, a mission would come up or something. Finally, after the battle on Geonosis, Anakin said he was taking Padme (who was now a Senator) back to Naboo. So I told him he couldn't go without a chaperone, could he? He reluctantly agreed, and we were off to Naboo.

To Sabe.

I feigned an excuse to go separately from them, telling Anakin we'd be staying here until the next day, and no longer. I asked around and found where Sabe was living. When I got there, I pressed the button to let her know someone was there. The door opened.

"Yes?" she asked. Surprised, I looked at myself. Oh. I had grown a beard in the ten years we'd been apart, and my hair had grown a bit longer. I was also missing my Padawan braid.

"Hello, Sabe," I said, and her face lit up.

"_Ben!_" She rushed at me, and I caught her before she crashed, which would've knocked us both backward.

"Hi, love," I smiled at her, and she couldn't say anything. We stood there, just holding each other up, both of us weeping slightly. I finally got her inside, and we sat on the couch.

"I kept my promise."

"What prom... Oh! Yes. Its about time!" she answered with mock accusation. "I was about to fly to the Temple myself and drag you back home to me."

"Well, I think that might've actually been something Master Yoda _hasn't_ seen." I teased.

We had dinner, and I called Anakin and told him that he could stay where he wanted, I found somewhere to stay. He sounded busy and preoccupied and a little embarrassed. _What's he doing?_ I wondered.

"Sabe?" I called from the hall outside of her room.

"Yes?" she called back, poking her head out.

"Do you have a spare room I could sleep in?" She laughed.

"Come on, silly, there's room in here!" She opened the door completely. She sat on the bed. I just stood there like an idiot.

"You mean, with you?"

"Well, yeah. If you'd rather not, there is a spare room right across from here."

"No, no its just..." I trailed off. _Its just I'd never shared a bed with anyone unless we were on a freezing planet and the only way to stay warm was to huddle together. Its just I've never, ever, ever slept with anyone but myself, let alone someone of the opposite gender._

She patted the spot on the bed next to her. Gingerly, I sat. We sat silently, just looking at each other. Then she kissed me.

This kiss got us lost in ourselves that night. We did something I should never have done. But, it just felt right.

I woke sweaty and disheveled the next morning. I sat there, hugging my knees, thinking.

_That was wrong. I shouldn't have done it._

_So?_

_Its against the Jedi Code! What would Qui-Gon have said? Ugh..._

_"Its what Sabe wanted, right?_

_Well, yes..._

_And was it nice?_

_Kind of...But its wrong!_

Before my evil half could argue back, Sabe woke. She looked just as disheveled as I was.

"I shouldn't have..." Her hand over my mouth stopped me.

"I know. We shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Mmfphglm" She pulled her hand away. "Don't be sorry. You're perfectly allowed to do that. I'm not."

"I know."

She watched me from the bed as I dressed and showered. I went to the door of her home, and paused.

"Sabe?"

"Obi-Wan?"

I pulled her into a hug. She squeaked.

"I love you."

She stopped squeaking and wriggling.

"I love you, too." I left, my heart already hurting with the pain of being away.

---------------

After that one time, I tried to visit, but whenever I'd start to go, a mission would come up. I so wanted to see her. I was suffering the horrible nightmares again. I didn't see her after that one visit until after what had happened on Mustafar. Saddened by what had occurred between myself and Anakin, and grieving the death of Padme, and trying to hold off going to Tatooine with Anakin's son as long as possible, I visited Sabe. I'd went to Naboo to silently and secretly pay my respects to Padme at her funeral. On my way to leave, I'd stopped to visit Sabe. I knocked on the door. It opened.

"Hello?" asked Sabe suspiciously. She had some gray in her black hair, but she was still beautiful. "May I help you, sir?"

She didn't recognize me. I looked down at myself and could see why. I was covered in ash and had slight burns on my clothes from the battle on Mustafar. I'd also grown a beard and lost my cloak somewhere.

"Sabe, its me." I said. "It's Obi-Wan." She gaped at me.

"No..." she whispered, disbelieving. I tried to smile, but I was overcome with emotion.

"Yes, its Ben." As soon as I said, 'Ben' she gasped.

"But...but...I heard on the HoloNet you were dead! That you got killed on Utapau!" she ran forward, so part of her sentence was muffled by my tunic. She pulled back. "You smell like a fire."

"Thank you. I've been somewhere fiery today. Well, I guess the HoloNet was wrong, huh?" I said, and I hugged her. "Seems like we're still in love."

"Oh, Ben, I've missed you!" she was crying.

"Hey, hey, come on, don't cry, I'm here. I'm here," I soothed her, gently rocking side to side. Suddenly, I heard a noise from another room. "What was that?"

"Oh! Wait here!" She left, and I looked around. Her entry room was very nice, with lots of little pictures and everything. I could her HoloNet playing in the kitchen, and soothing noises from the room she'd gone into. She came out carrying a boy around one and a half.

"Wh-wh-who is that?" I asked, dropping to the floor on my knees. I had an idea, but...

"This is Deryll," she said, trying to hide a smile. "Deryll Kenobi."

"No..." I tried to find words, but I was stammering and stuttering like a child. Deryll's hair was darker than mine, but had a slight reddish shine that was barely noticeable, just like I had. He had blue-green eyes like mine, but everything else was Sabe. "Can I...?"

"Of course you can!" She laughed and handed me my baby.

"Hey, little guy," I whispered. I rocked him. "Hey Deryll." My son.

I stayed with Sabe until the next day. We sat at the table after Deryll had gone back to bed, and talked.

"Anakin did that? I can't believe it!" She replied when I told her about Anakin's betrayal. "He was such a sweet little boy..."

"Obviously, what you're like when you're young doesn't reflect what you'll turn out to be." I gave her a detailed account of my battle with my former Padawan, Padme's death, and then she told me what had happened since the last time I visited. There wasn't much. She had her hands on the table, and I covered them with mine.

"I suppose we don't have to hide anymore, huh?" I remarked as we were getting ready for bed. She tossed her head back and laughed, just like she used to.

That night was peaceful.

The next morning, I woke before her and watched her sleep. I guess she sensed me, because she startled awake.

"Good morning, love," I greeted her softly. Wailing came from Deryll's room, and Sabe started to rise. I was up and out of bed before she even had the covers off.

"Still as fast as ever, I see." She gestured towards the door. "His room is right across the hall."

I enetered his room and he was standing up in his crib, screaming. Lifting him out, I sensed something. _No, no! He can't! If he gets discovered..._

"Sabe?" I called.

"Yes?" Her answer floated out of her room.

"Is Deryll Force-sensitive?" I waited anxiously for her to come in.

"What? No!" she said defensively.

"Why does he do that then?" Deryll was moving his toys around without touching them.

"No..." she whispered.

"He won't get discovered. Trust me."

We spent the morning making breakfast, trying to not think about the possibility that Deryll might get discovered.

"Remember those dreams I told you about?" I asked her. She turned towards me.

"The nightmares? Yes."

"All but one has come true."

"Oh, Obi-Wan..."

"The Temple was burning, Qui-Gon died, and I was battling Anakin on a lava planet. Everything was the same. The only one that hasn't come true was me dying."

"Ben, don't talk like that! You won't die until you're old and fusty and crotchety!" She was reassuring me as much as herself. When we finished cleaning up from breakfast, I told her I had to go.

"I will try and visit, but I don't know if I'll be able to."

"You don't have to leave!"

"I do." I told her about Luke, Anakin's son, and that I had to look after him. She finally agreed that I should go, and brought Deryll to say good-bye.

"Good-bye, son. Try to not annoy your mother too much." I brought him closer to me. "May the Force always be with you, son. I love you," I whispered and then set him on the floor. He looked solemnly up at me.

"Day, I wuv you! Stay wiv Momma and me!" he begged. It took all of my willpower not to stay.

I turned to Sabe, who was already crying. I started to cry too. "Sabe," I began. She rushed to me. "Sabe, I love you. I will never stop loving you. Take this," I handed her a holocommunicator and a holoprojector. "And whenever you want to talk, use the communicator. I put some pictures of from when we first met, when I was a child, and of Padme on the projector. Use it to remember, okay?" She nodded and took them.

"I'll miss you, Ben! I'll miss you forever!"

"Right back at you," I said, trying to make her smile. It worked. We kissed and I ran my hands through her hair. She was sad. I reached behind me to open the door, and silently I left.

I took her nickname for me as my real name. That's what I'm known by now. Ben Kenobi, the hermit.


End file.
